Happy New Year! Check out celebs’ 2009 resolutions:

BRITNEY SPEARS:
“I would like to stop worrying so much because I worry all the time. And to learn how to be happier, just in general. And to stop biting my nails!”

EVA LONGORIA PARKER
“To give up meat.”

FERGIE
“It’s always the same: to work out more and eat healthier. I’m trying to go organic, eat more raw.”

ASHLEE SIMPSON
“All my focus is on my son. Every day, being a better mom and learning with him. It’s an incredible experience.”

SPENCER PRATT
“To stop eating pizza every day. I think my wife [Heidi Montag's] resolution will make that happen. She says she’s going to cook.”

CARMEN ELECTRA
“To have more fun! I was just with Jenny McCarthy not too long ago, and she said, ‘Carmen, life is supposed to be fun.’ And I remembered that, it stayed in my head. And that is my goal.”

JAMIE FOXX:
“I’m looking for the right woman. I need a magnifying glass! I’m trying to find that rare jewel.”

STEPHANIE PRATT:
“I’m making my boyfriend quit smoking. I’m lazy — that’s all I’m doing!”

COOLIO
“No bills in ‘09. Live off other people. We’re in an economic crunch right now, so I’m not trying to pay any bills. I want somebody else to pay my bills, so you get me like 10 [women] with money. Nah, I’m just kidding.”

JULIE BOWEN:
“To have a healthy baby. Last year, my New Year’s resolution was to run the L.A. Marathon, and I got up to 18 miles in my training and I got injured so you know what, I’m putting it on the list for next year.”

KANYE WEST:
“My resolution is to be as nice as possible to the press.”

JENNIFER MORRISON:
“To learn Spanish faster. I started doing the Rosetta Stone program a year ago. I’m getting there, but I want to get a little more focused.”

AISHA TYLER:
“To be happier! I’m a pretty happy person, but I try to be as happy as I can.”

BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN:
“It seems to be to stop smoking every year. We’ll see how it goes this time.”

KATHY GRIFFIN:
“To eat more carbs!”

KIM KARDASHIAN:
“Probably just to continue last year, which was to get in shape and stop eating sweets. I think I’m going to continue that because I broke it a little bit.”

CAMERON DIAZ:
“I have always had the same New Year resolutions: to stop smoking, to start wearing a bra and to stop shopping.”

DAVID ARCHULETA:
“I would like to learn more about the music and business that I have gotten into. I would like to get more involved in the writing side of music, and also Im learning more things about performing and meeting a lot of new people that I can learn from.”

Who knew an upskirt shot could be so gay? While it is an upskirt and upskirt are suppose to be reavealing… I think this reveals even more than what I want to know about Eva Longoria. But here is an interesting question… Why is someone who is a size 0 wearing fucking Spanx? For those of you wondering what shape Eva Longoria would be if she didn’t fit her fat ass in Spanx, my money is on giantagon. Or cellulitezoid. It’s a total toss-up. Here is Eva Longoria flashing her Spanx underwear outside of Beso restaurant last night in Los Angeles where a party was thrown in her honored by Allure.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker became husband and wife today in a 45-minute civil ceremony in Paris’ fourth-district city hall. The service was attended only by the couple’s parents and members of their immediate families. “The couple wanted to keep this one very low-key and intimate,” says an insider.

A second ceremony and party, with about 250 guests, takes place tomorrow — and Paris is crawling with celebrities due to attend!

Here’s what they did on Friday, according to the insider:

• Jessica Alba and boyfriend Cash Warren spent the day shopping all over Paris, and they enjoyed a romantic walk down the Champs-Elysées, happily blending in with the crowd.

• Teri Hatcher took her daughter, Emerson, 9, to a few of city’s gorgeous parks and gardens.

• Mario Lopez and his girlfriend, Karina Smirnoff, left the wedding party’s hotel, the Park Hyatt Paris-Vendôme, early in the morning to go sightseeing and shopping. They returned four hours later, tired but happy after their excursion.

• Terrence Howard laid low at the hotel, getting ready for a night of partying.

On Friday night, the insider says, Eva and Tony rehearsed their wedding ceremony at the Church of Saint Germain l’Auxerrois — where they will walk down the aisle at 4 p.m. Saturday — and then hosted a candlelit dinner for their family members, closest friends and the wedding party at the Cristal Room Baccarat restaurant.

According to the insider, Eva and Tony had planned to call it an early night. “Their big moment is so close,” says the insider, “and Eva knows she has to get a good night’s rest!”

Not sure how this is news but Eva Longoria has reported that the sex ban on her engagement to NBA star Tony Parker is non-existent. This statement was made to quell rumors that Tony wasn’t getting any until the wedding day.

The rumors first surfaced when Longoria was being interviewed by Jimmy Kimmel, “Jimmy Kimmel made a joke about how Tony is in the playoffs, so no sex. And I said, ‘Well, good thing the playoffs go until the wedding.’ Now everyone is talking about it. Yes we are still having sex. Confirmed.” Longoria made the announcement on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show earlier this week.

The 32-year-old actress is scheduled to get hitched to the San Antonio Spur on July 7th in Paris, France. This is becoming a bit of an ordeal though. According to Eva, “250 people were invited, but that’s not what the number will be. You forget we’re having it in Paris where Tony is from. He has a lot more guests than I do. It’s not really easy for us because we have such large families.

Whew, well now that that crisis has been averted and the international community knows full well that Tony Parker is boinking his fiancee on a regular basis, I suppose we can all go about our business. Move along folks, nothing more to see here.

Jessica Simpson hosts the 2nd anniversay of the Pussycat Dolls at Pure nightclub, Las vegas. Simpson’s boobs are huge we all know that but they are looking even bigger perhaps it’s because she’s next to Eva Longoria?

Jessica Simpson, Eva Longoria, Mario Lopez

Jessica Simpson (5′2.5″) & Eva Longoria (5′2″) are about the same height. But Simpson looks double the size of Longoria. Is it just her boobs or she is a bit chunky?